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Greener on the other side!


We have all felt this feeling before, the feeling of somehow being inadequate, feeling as though you are left behind. I have felt this way before too, I do quite often actually. I look around sometimes and I see everyone being great, excelling and reaching their goals. As much as I would like to always look at my own journey in a positive light, it can be hard to do so at times, especially when things aren’t going the way I intended (and I’m a bit of a control freak). As much as I hate to compare myself to others, I sometimes still find myself in that place of comparison. For me personally, I was and sometimes still am truly embarrassed that my studies took longer than others. I’ve seen people who started their studies after I did graduate before me, while I still struggled to do the same. Believe me, the internal struggle is real!

I was recently listening to this song, ‘Comparison Kills’ by Jonathan McReynolds, and that song really hit me hard (I might have shed a little tear, but that’s between us). The chorus says: “ ‘Cause it makes you chase what’s not meant to be chased, ‘cause you possessed it all along. It comes to steal and hide what is real. Comparison kills.”

I really started to examine myself, there has been so much of myself, my goals, ambitions and passion that comparison has been trying to hide and steal. The difficult thing is that we (Read I ), let this happen. We become consumed with how others have progressed further than we have, forgetting that we can run our own race while feeling inspired by someone else’s pace.

I am slowly coming to terms with my own journey. My journey may be slower than someone else’s, I might have taken different turns along the way, but it’s still my journey and it’s significant nonetheless. Why am I writing this today? Because I know that there are plenty of you reading this that can relate. Maybe you feel like you have failed in your studies. Maybe you see everyone in a loving relationship, and you want the same for yourself. Maybe you see everyone around you opening businesses and living their best lives while you struggle to find balance and stability. I want to remind you that your journey is significant, beautiful in all of its uncertainty. Someone else’s success doesn’t invalidate yours and we don’t always see the tears they had to shed to get to where they are now. Your journey is unique and different, because your purpose is unique and different. When you decide to focus on your own race and your own journey, it will all make sense, it will finally fall into place. I’ll leave you with this verse from the song.

“The grass was fine

Until it looked greener on the other side

Now you’re believing that you fell behind

But why not try to match what should be one of a kind

You’re one of a kind”

- Jonathan McReynolds

 

Cici Isenia

Rotterdam, Netherlands

©2020 BY CICI ISENIA.